Fanboy and Chum Chum and Prayers
(how we can cope with annoying people)
Maya Angelou once said: “At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel,” and that’s exactly what happened to me with Nickelodeon’s Fanboy and Chum Chum (2009).
Fanboy (the tall one I think) and Chum Chum (the shorter one I think) were two brothers (possibly just friends who both had brown hair, but I don’t remember or care), who frolicked about their metropolis and wreaked havoc. But in a giggly way. Some kids thought it was funny or whatever. I was not one of those kids.
As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that there are actual people — living, breathing people — who induce the same type of frustration that 9-year-old Melody felt when her Spongebob Squarepants was so rudely interrupted by Fanboy and Chum Chum. So of course, amongst friends, I grouped those individuals into a classification that I call “Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura.” I guess you’re a friend now— sort of — so I’m gonna break it down for you!
This started off as a rage piece! But instead, I decided to challenge myself. I don’t want to be the girl that switched bus seats when the energy became to Chumchummy. I want to be the woman who forgives the Fanboy. Okay, maybe not forgive… but at the very least, overcome.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves! I know you want answers, but before speaking on forgiveness, I’ll need to paint you a picture of how Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura presents itself:
They’re internet hooligans! Bro, bro, bro. They airdrop unfunny photos to unsuspecting individuals. BRO. Nov they've added you to a group chat! Broooooo. Exciting! Oh...never mind... they're just here to stir up trouble. Now you've been roped in.
Congratulations! You were invited to their kickback! Such an honor! Do you like that song? Cute! They’re skipping it. They’re skipping it and they're cranking upppp the volume of their own audio pollution— no need to run it by you or anybody else at the function.
Watch out… they like to tease! They love to non-consensually banter! They’re taking jabs at you! Doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or you're shy or you're awkward or you're anxious or whatever! You’re their prey! Roar! You are a part of their bit. No auditions required. So get ready to uncomfortably fake laugh.
They haven't even said hello yet and they're already telling you that they got, like, super drunk this past weekend and did a flip and probably knocked over a bunch of stuff. James was there and Michelle was there. The kicker: Brenna was also there (whatever that means). How was your weekend? Oop!- Never mind! This is not about you. Because they’re toooo busy and fun and social and they don’t have time for your boringness! Sorry!
They’re far too busy and fun and social to clean up after themselves. They definitely leave their gum and food wrappers here and there and everywhere. All willy nilly! Because the world is their oyster!
It’s incredibly frustrating how incredibly liberated they feel because they seem to use every ounce of their freedom to encroach on others’ space, and to do it with Cool Ranch Dorito breath. They used to shoot spitballs and yank ponytails, but they can’t anymore! They’re too old. Now, they find other ways to impose their super cool super awesome uniqueness.
If you can’t already tell, I am not an extrovert. But, I’ve always admired their excitement about sharing themselves with the world and about greeting each and every person they come across. Extroverts are beautiful. That scathing description was not about extroverts, who are curious, wild, and free. Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura does not stem from curiosity, nor does it stem from freedom…
It stems from a selfish need to violate others’ space and comfort in order to gain a t t e n t i o n, and with that, a temporary confidence boost.
It’s mean! It’s bullying dare I say.
Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura is not only defined by behavior, but by the reaction it causes. Is your blood boiling? Is your eye about to twitch? This genre of annoyingness sparks a visceral reaction in my anatomy. And I’m sure it does in yours too. And rightfully so! It’s bothersome! It’s angering!
***
This is where the angry blurb was supposed to end. Instead, I’m going to do the “being mature” thing that I mentioned earlier. Ugh! We’re adults now. We can identify the Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura, so we can focus on the coping:
If someone is making you uncomfortable, you absolutely positively have the right to call them out. Stand up! Or better yet, stand up and leave! Exit! I personally love a good ~straight face until things get awkward~ moment. To each their own! We all have our own methods of navigating uncomfortable situations.
I’m not asking you to change the way you feel. I’m simply challenging you to redefine it. Be annoyed, loud and proud (or quiet and proud). But lace that annoyance with empathy, and the whole ordeal becomes a hundred times more manageable. It’s sad being noise instead of being a person. It’s even sadder needing to do that as a fully grown adult. Send them a flower basket or get them a candy bar maybe — just kidding.
Check on them if you feel up to it. Ultimately, understand that you’re not responsible for someone’s immaturity (unless you’re their parent lol) and rest assured that their immaturity will someday serve as their consequence. I used to get up and leave when Fanboy and Chum Chum Aura threatened my peace. Frankly, I still do. Except now, I make a pouty face first.
If you fear that a loved one is drifting into Fanboy and Chum Chum territory, maybe have a chat with them because maybe something stressful is brewing in their sweet little annoying little psyche.
Or maybe it’s you! If that description hit a little bit too close to home, you’re in the right place. I applaud you for being self aware!
I don’t remember much about Fanboy and Chum Chum; I don’t remember much about people whose sole intention was to get a rise out of a room. Thoughts/opinions? Goals? Feelings? Nope. I don’t remember any of those things. I only remember gritting my teeth and doing everything in my power to mute the Aura and conserve my space.
That’s where it becomes a tragedy! The people who are most-itching to be remembered aren’t even remembered as people, but as nuisances. I don’t want that type of existence for you or for anyone else. You deserve to be remembered! You deserve to be an actual person, so stop behaving like a rambunctious-freak-cartoon-boogerboy-vigilante. This is not Nickelodeon (thank God).
The fanboy and chum chum aura is an aura I hope goes away for the people who possess it. It’s interesting though as I used to love fanboy and chum chum! Their hijinks were so spectacular to me as a child. I thought, “what could make one act such a way? And how cool is it that they get this freedom to do this?!” The problem though is that in the real world, Fanboy and Chumchum would’ve gotten arrested several times over. People who currently posses Fanboy and Chumchum aura need to self reflect before they go too far to turn back.
“it’s sad being noise instead of a person.” DAMN. This piece made me feel sympathy for the Chum Chums of the world for the first time. Brilliant.