Happy Clout Chasers' Day of Relief!
tis the season I guess
Wintertime vibes are immaculate, but odd.
There’s irony in the cozy solitude paired with the screaming desire to focus on connection: on love, on gratitude, on forgiveness, on reflection. “RELAX!!!!” it shouts, “but also spiral into deeeeeeep thought.”
It’s beautiful, a little bit sad, and absolutely necessary.
It’s my FAVORITE season. Can you tell? In fact, I’m so enthused, so plagued by introspection, so psychologically amped, that I would like to propose a new lil holiday to you kids:
Clout Chasers’ Day of Relief…
I was on the train when I overheard a conversation between two RutgersUniversityBoys. One Rutboy was RANTING about how he was itchinggggg to skip a phone call with his Rutgirlfriend so he could pregame a party where “the DJ had 6K followers.”
“My relationship is rockyyyyyyy rn, bro,” said the dude, “I love my gf, but I gotta see this guy, man. Everyone’s going tonight. It’s EDM!!!! I know I have to talk to her or whatever, but, like, does it have to be tonight?”
My jaw dropped on the NJ Transit. He was soooooo short-sighted, I was almost impressed. They got off the train before I could hear the conclusion of the conversation. But by that point, I’d heard all I needed to hear.
I tweeted about the encounter, of course. Then, I realized that I had an entire hour left of my train ride because it was running local. Since I had soooooo much extra time, I challenged myself to take a more remedial approach to the predicament. I thought:
HOW was that Rutboy willing to sacrifice his loving relationship for a night of mid-to-low-tier EDM…simply because “everybody’s going?”
Frankly, I didn’t know that kid. I didn’t know much of the context either. But the story and its telling rang a bell that was all too familiar:
CLOUT CHASER ALERTTTTT.
How can someone be so eager to compromise what’s important to them for a shot at being the moment? A moment is only like… an INSTANT… am I mistaken??
I don’t know. I’m not a researcher. But I did come up with an idea on the train:
One day each year should be devoted to clout chasers:
Clout Chasers’ Day of Relief.
Now, before you get all ~judgey~ about it, I wanna circle back to *REFLECTION*.
Reflecting can be tough. Being honest with ourselves can be r e p u l s i v e— especially when the truth hurts. Yet as difficult as it is to do, we are soooooo critical of people who struggle to do it.
And rightfully so! It’s a little bit irritating when people are unaware of the impacts of their harmful* behaviors. It’s a LOTTA bit irritating.
*Not severe…this piece has nothing to do with anything severe
Truly, it’s beyond irritating– it’s a THROBBING PAIN. There are many genres of painful personalities, and right now, I want to focus on clout chasers. And encouraging them to heal.
“Why?”
Because life is exhausting. We are always on the move, and clout chasers run especially hard.
Think about the “CHASE” in “CLOUT CHASE.”
Think about how exhausting chasing is. The panting, the muscle aches. The devastating grit of knowing you’ll never win, but you’ll never have it in you to give up. Just a long, strenuous flop.
(I know because I ran track and was bad at it.)
It’s normal to yearn for a robust social life– for many fruitful connections, for happiness. WE NEED PEOPLE. That is toooooootally okay.
With clout chasers, power is the priority. It’s about #gaining #proximity to #influential #crowds. And with that, gaining #leverage. It’s betraying your own morals, people, and health in exchange for social power. Chasing attention. Chasing respect. Chasing power.
Imagine if one day, we said: You did it, lil friend. You caught it.
Take a day and tell every clout chaser you know: Congratulations! YOU CAUGHT IT(the clout).
Here, so it’s easier to copy/paste:
Congratulations. You caught it(the clout)!
Let’s devote one day to taking a collective sideways glance towards shamelessly clout-hungry individuals. A sideways glance is a glance nonetheless, right?! I’m sure they’ll still be happy that eyes are on them.
SHOUT THEM OUT.
Shower them in jewelry (Five-Below maybe– nothing that would break the bank).
Maybe even host parties in their honor– if you’re feeling particularly compassionate. Hang their pictures on the wall, and make space for guests to shower them in love and affection.
Take Rutboy for instance– if that questionable boyfriend were anywhere on my following list, I’d find the picture he posted at that unfortunate EDM session– the night where he was supposed to have a relationship-defining conversation with his girlfriend, and I’d comment:
“Woah, bro. Th-this…this is fire…I hope you had the night of your life.”
And he’d nod his rectangular head and stroke his poorly-maintained beard. He’d have a laugh with his Rutgerbros and go to bed that night, secretly embarrassed. Or… in peace.
Forgiveness isn’t always the answer. But a lot of the time, it can be! You don’t need to hold hands and skip through the fields with people who suck. But you deserve to relieve yourself of the burden of hatinggggg. Free them of the chase, and free yourself of the strain of watching them crash and burn. Each and every time.
Put down your binoculars and focus on whatever your other life priorities are– I don’t know what they are because I don’t know you.
For one day, clout chasers will be in stasis– and you can rest assured knowing that they’re not pulling any stunts. Because there’s no game! For one day, they can all feel uncomfortably satisfied at the same time, and give the rest of us A BREAK.
I’m asking you for the illusion of empathy for one day. For a greater good.
I’m not asking you to be genuine about it. I’m asking you to take one day to highlight all of the clout chasers in your life by giving them insincere spurts of attention so that for one day, they can feel fulfilled, or maybe even aware!
AGAIN: It’d only be one day. December 26th. On the 27th, you can go back to normal. I promise. <3
You can go back to pointing fingers and laughing, or simply muting them. Up to you! It’s not your problem anymore: it’s theirs.
Hopefully, the clout chasers reach an awakening. “That’s strange…” they’ll think, “everybody’s texting ME on Clout Chasers’ Day of Relief…”
After a certain number of phony text messages and forced-attention, they’ll realize that the world sees them. Chasing clout. And struggling to catch it.
Maybe they’ll reach a level of closure where they feel comfortable stopping their chase! And maybe once they stop their chase, they’ll have time to reflect! And quit competing for superficial progress. They can quit fighting for social power and start fighting for social happiness.
Or not! LOL! For the other 364 (365 on a leap year) days of the year, the clout chasers can resume their run. They can keep gasping for air and appreciation. They can start right back up on their treadmill race– where they’ll labor intensely with no real motion because their cloud of delusion is just too dense.
If that’s the case, so be it! We don’t know what makes people chase. It’s not our job to ease them of that burden. But for one day each year, we can allow them to frolic and play in their winnings with the hopes that their temporary “contentment” brings them some clarity.