How Come We're OBSESSED with Sad People?!
Introducing the Charlie Brown Factor...
PEOPLE ARE SEARCHING LAND AND SEA FOR A GLOOMY WRECK OF A PERSON TO BRING THEM SOME PEACE. Trust me. These days, that’s what the kids want: a bleak bestie, an awkward acquaintance, a sad situationship, or an all of the above.
Sometimes, we like ‘em sad! Let’s face it. We like sweet and innocent angels with dark clouds looming over their heads. So how are we going to keep ourselves safe from the storm? What sparks this itch for gloominess and how can we scratch it without hurting ourselves?
A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
I want to emphasize that there is such a thing as healthy gloominess. Believe me, I support (and encourage) a skip through the meadow. Anybody who knows me knows that I love a Sunday brunch or an evening stroll or a night on the town.
I also enjoy staying in, and I’m sure you do too. I enjoy staying in and having emotional debriefs or sharing stories or, god forbid, saying nothing. I love a rainy day! Some people urge us out of the house for a series of wacky misadventures. Others are delightfully rainy days. They don’t put us down and they don’t hurt themselves— they’re just… cartoonishly cursed.
Bottoms (2023)
I call it the Charlie Brown Factor (CBF) – a pleasant misfortune that brings us comfort. Proximity to their grayness makes us feel at ease. They’re the very feeling of turning up the fan at night solely to be able to put on more blankets.
These are the people who miss the bus and have to chase it. These are the people who have never won a single raffle or lottery. These are the people with ever-wet socks and ever-untied shoes — the kids who were cold-called in class and had no clue what to say. These are the people who are constantly kicking footballs that are constantly ripped out of their way.
Spider-Man (2002)
You might be thinking: “Hmmm, it’s almost like there’s a correlation between CBF and mental health,” and I need you to stop that train right there. Take the wheels off. Take the whole train apart. Nope. That is plain old wrong:
Here’s to your Squidwards, Ayo Edebiri-in-Bottomses, Lakeith-Stanfield-in-generals, Toby Maguire Spidermen, and of course, your Charlie Browns. That’s who we’re here for. That’s who this is about.
This is not for your Bojack Horsemans or your Batmen. This is not for your Bella Swans. This is not for your Tony Sopranos. Keep those guys home. They need help. This is about cute gloominess. Not Ihatemyselfandothersness.
To romanticize that would be dangerous. Far too often, I watch people paint enchanting pictures of emotionally stunted artists or self-alienating-cabin-in-the-woods-dark-cloaked-vampires, or honestly, anyone who hasn’t coped responsibly with their trauma…
The Dark Knight (2008)
Do these people exist? YES– for sure. And they deserve help! And we all deserve relationships that are healthy and genuine. When we ogle people for hurting themselves and others, we are not supporting anybody.
There shouldn’t be any “I’m… different… from the others,” “Wait! Please!! One more chance,” or “I can fix them,” involved in your dynamic. If these are recurring issues, there needs to be:
a) an intervention/support initiative
b) more distance
c) both a and b
Charlie Brown and Lucy
You don’t need to be “miserable” or “struggling” to exude CBF. In fact, I DETEST THAT. Nobody needs to be ~hurt~ to be endearing. CBF is a healthy darkness. Think of a cool shady shelter from the sun. One can be clumsy, minutely ill-fated, happy, and surrounded by love. That is Charlie Brown.
In fact, I would argue that the appeal of CBF isn’t solely the *stumble and fall* aspect, but the *get back up and kicks that football again* aspect. There is still hope! There’s charm in the fact that in spite of forgetting their keys and getting caught in the rain and running out of phone battery, they did everything in their power to make it to dinner that night—even if their outfit is a little disheveled. Charlie Browns have it somewhat figured out.
“Naughty Nautical Neighbors,” Spongebob Squarepants (1999)
Their mellowness makes them easier to open up to. In fact, they’ll probably have some bad luck stories and clever insights to share with you too! You’ll never be starved for good conversation, but you’ll never feel pressured to talk. It doesn’t take a whole lot of energy to kick it with a Charlie Brown (and totally miss the ball). That’s the beauty of it!
I’ll bet you have a whole ton of people in mind right now. That’s great! That’s what this piece was for. Now that you can identify the CBF carriers in your life, I want to be sure that you’re embracing them in the ways that they deserve (nothing weird).
A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
Melancholically goofy, charmingly round-headed individuals tend to induce a bit of a chuckle. It’s funny watching a friend slip on a banana peel. Take your little pokes and jabs as long as they’re reciprocating. Introduce a little playfulness to their dreary air— just make sure your playfulness has a hum of seriousness. This is a real (and probably sensitive) person with a real personality. Make sure that they feel respected for it rather than tokenized– that way your friendship can stay real.
Also, like… check on them. Make sure to care for them the same way you would care for any other, and make sure that laughter isn't your only gain. It seems silly to say, but adorable people are people too. Make sure you’re being sincere.
You also ever know. It might not be “Charlie Brown Factor”– they very well might be struggling. I am not a doctor or a psychologist or a scientist in any capacity. I am simply a perceptive (and lowkey judgmental) person who noticed a thing or two about the beautifully shadowy people who shaped their life and chose to put pen to paper.