It sucks because my friends are going to read this and think,
“Ohhhh…so Melody thinks all of our conversations are copy & paste,”
and that is sooooo not what I’m getting at.
Not every conversation is the same– my friends and I are dynamic individuals with varying experiences, fluctuating moods, and colorful commentaries.
But there definitely seems to be a template:
*we’re seated at a booth in [insert restaurant here]*
Person A: It’s been a really tough week… I’m scared I’m gonna lose her.
Person B: Oh my god I’m so sorry, Person A— what happened?
Person A: Okay— so a few days ago, she and I met up at Tony’s Bar and Grill.
Person C: Ah I LOVE Tony’s. Remember when we used to go there for trivia?
Person B: Can I confess something? I never liked Tony’s to be honest.
Person A: Sureeeeee.
Person B: You don’t believe me?! I’d always just get fries and grab food afterwards.
Person C: You think you’re above everyyyything now. Ugh.
Person B: Ah– wait– sorry I sidetracked.
Person A: No, no, no— don’t worry. You’re good.
And it’s weird because there wasn’t an agenda. But still— Person A clearly has something to get off their chest and we’re all desperate to share the burden, but passion doesn’t always drive a conversation forward— it oftentimes spews it all over the place.
Person A: Ok so like– yeah – we met up at Tony’s this one time and she kept talking about how her back ached and OH MY GOD- oh my god. The waiter looks just like that guy– that guy Person B can’t stand– Rebellious?? YEAHHHHH Rebellious Jones…
*moment of silence*
Person D: Can I get you some more water?
Person B: No thanks.
Person C: Nah I don’t see it.
Person B: I kinda do…
On paper, it looks like we’re tugging the spotlight back and forth, but it doesn’t feel like that at all.
It feels more like reading a book and pausing to leave an annotations off to the side, then stopping to Google the thing you just annotated, then texting your mom to ask for her opinion on the situation because you feel like you remember her saying something similar, then realizing you’re kinda hungry and slicing up an apple to snack on. Then, you sit back down and keep reading:
*we probably order an odd collection of shareable apps*
Person A: But yeah, anyways, me and her met up at Tony’s and she had, like, tears in her eyes or whatever. It literally looked like she was about to cry. She kept rubbing her back and complaining. I think she even brought an ice pack. I asked her if her back was bothering her.
She said: “Yes, from supporting this entire relationship.”
I literally had to hold back laughter. It was so crazy— who even says that with a straight face??
Person B: I’m cracking up just thinking about it… It’s crazy because I feel like that’s happened to you before— remember— with your soccer team?
Person A: Yeah… with the goalie… yeah. That was different though! That was about sports. Recreational sports. It’s different when you’re talking about, like, an actual relationship. Like, this is serious. Oh my god.
Person B: I can’t believe that keeps happening… I’m so sorry.
Person C: Yeah. I’m so sorry. Have you ever researched your emotional attachment type?
Things get hyper specific and a little bit annoying. We want to know what color sweater she was wearing when she broke your heart or how her sibling dynamic shaped her approach to conflict resolution. We zoom in so far, the image becomes indecipherable. We discuss matters so granular, they’re avoidant of the matter at hand.
Person B: These Dirty Shirleys have barelyyyyy anything in them. Where’s the dirty?!
Person A: Yeah, I feel like I got scammed.
Person C: Why do we keep coming to this place?
Person B: I don’t even know. I guess it’s the most convenient option or whatever.
Person A: Hm…
Person B: Oh my god I am so sorry for side tracking again– what happened next— after the back ache thing?
Person A: Well, I was in shock– what do you mean YOU’RE carrying this entire relationship? I knitted our entire couch by hand. I sheered the sheep we used to stuff the cloth with wool.
Person C: That’s right! How’s the farm doing?!
Person A: It’s good! It’s great! Honestly, it’s the best part of my day at this point– crazy because my brother used to complain about it all the time. I’m not sure what was up with him. I’m having a great time!
Person B: I’m so happy you’re living your dream. Rod complains about everything so I’m not surprised he complained about that too.
Person A: Yeah– it was different for my brother. He’s always stressing himself out with needless drama. By the way— he’s still caught up with that guy.
Person C: The murderer?
Person A:Yeah.
Person C: Ohhh right. Yeah. Let me know if you ever wanna vent about that.
Person A: Yeah. Yeah. Another time…
Person B: What were we talking about again?
I don’t think I’d ever be able to pack this conversation in a neat little summary. It’s a meandering dialogue you just gotta stew in— absorbing what resonates and enjoying the rest. It can go in circles. It can overlap. It can go completely off the grid. I’ve been Person A, B, C, (and D lol), and I’ve had the best time. I hope I’m lucky enough to keep this conversation going for the rest of my life.
Maybe the natural breaks allow us to rest. Maybe this isn’t a podcast or a seminar or an essay— it’s just natural. There’s time for zoom-ins and zoom-outs and digressions and stream of consciousness. Maybe next time, we need to carve out a bit more time.
Person C: Oh right— we were talking about the breakup.
Person A: Well it’s not official yet– *checks phone* Oh… now it is.
Person B: Oh….
Person C: Oh noooo
Person A: *Tears up, takes a sip, and powers through* Sorry I keep getting interrupted– deep breath– continues: so basically-
You are a queen of dialogue.
You are a queen of dialogue.